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Archive for the ‘Ego’ Category

miWisdom today… Getting angry or upset at others doesn’t normally work to one’s favour, as it creates resistance and throws the other person against you. Not only does the other person now see you as the enemy, they also completely resist what you have to say no matter how much logical sense your argument may have. This ends up being a “no win” situation for both parties. You don’t win because you haven’t been able to get your point across, and the other person doesn’t win because they have not learnt from their mistakes or their lack of understanding. Their Ego has simply impeded on making logical sense of the information that you are attempting to convey across to them.

Instead of getting angry or arguing with the other person, the solution is to simply discuss the matter with them in a very subtle and calm manner. Focus on asking the right kinds of questions that will get this person thinking logically about their situation. These questions must however be very subtle, so much so that the other person doesn’t even realise that you are probing them for these answers. Your goal is to get them thinking in a way that will stimulate questions within them so that they are able to find their own answers.

Focus also on touching the other person emotionally, on making them laugh, or maybe even making them feel a little indirect pain that will trigger their emotional thinking processes. A bit of laughter or tears can easily breakdown a person’s defenses, therefore opening them up to a greater sense of awareness and understanding about their current predicament.

People are much like a rubber-band. The more you pull on it the greater resistance you will have to deal with. And if you pull too quickly and too hard, the rubber-band will snap, and you have lost a unique opportunity to get through to them.  People are also much like a balloon that is blown up and deflated again. Once a balloon is deflated it will never take on its original shape. If you hurt them through your anger and attacking remark, they will lose trust and faith in you no matter what your intentions were or how much logical sense you made. And later when you are sincerely trying to help them, they will resist, and you will not be able to get through to them.

  • What is it that I would like to get across to this person?
  • What strategies can I use to get this information across to them in a way that will minimise resistance?
  • How should I talk, behave and present myself before them?
  • Where would be the most ideal place to discuss this matter with them?
  • What would be the ideal time to discuss this matter with them?
  • How can I get my point across in a logical manner that will get them thinking in new ways?
  • How can I get my point across in a way that will stir up contemplative emotions in the other person?
  • What questions can I ask them that will stimulate their thinking processes?
  • What personal experiences and stories can I share with them that will build a stronger emotional bond between the two of us?
  • How can I best show them that I understand their situation and predicament?
  • How can I lead them towards finding the answers that I would like them to discover for themselves?
  • After my discussion with them, should I give them space and time to contemplate what was discussed? How much time should I allow?
  • If I was them and they were me, how would I like to be approached given the circumstances?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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The Weakness of the Ego

miWisdom today… The Ego’s main weakness is that it shows all its cards yet expects to win the day. This is a deathly flaw that essentially creates more problems over solutions.

  • How can I learn to subdue my Ego when it appears to be controlling my decisions and actions?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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Giving Up Control to the Ego

miWisdom today… If one allows one’s Ego to dictate their reactions and decisions, than one has truly lost all control of the situation at hand. To continue to act through the Ego is much like digging a deep hole that one will one day find it impossible to climb out of.

  • Did I make this decision based on my own selfish reasons?
  • Did I take others into consideration while taking this action?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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Subdue the Ego

miWisdom today… Never mess with other people’s Egos. Egos are like alternative personalities who only care about their own personal interests at the expense of others. Do whatever you can to subdue the other person’s Ego while accessing the honorable spirit within. In this way you will hold maximum influence over others.

  • How can I bypass the Ego and get right to the heart of this person?
  • What is it that will really move them emotionally?
  • How can I use this to my advantage?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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