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Archive for the ‘Confidence’ Category

miWidsom today… In times of crisis or when absorbing high doses of stress, you must at the very least appear to be under emotional control, otherwise other people will tend to lose confidence and faith in your abilities. This is especially important if other people are looking up to you or you are seeking to influence others through your behaviors, decisions or actions.

At times of great stress or hardship it is very easy for the human mind to fall prey to negative emotions that can sap one’s energy and make one lose focus of one’s main goals and objectives. During these times people tend to make the worst out of every situation. They tend to filter all events in a very dark and gloomy manner. Hope appears to be lost, they have no idea what to do next, and the resulting effect is that they lose control over their emotions.

Our emotions are like a balance bar of control, they keep us steady and centered even during times of crisis; as long as we are proactively guiding our emotions in a manner that keeps us on target towards our goals and objectives. However, if we suddenly begin to react emotionally to other people, events or circumstances, that is when the balance between our emotions and the control bar is broken. Because we are emotional creatures, we are simply unable to maintain control over something external if internally we are unbalanced and falling apart.

The key towards gaining back emotional control begins on the outside. One must first appear to others as though one is in full emotional control over oneself. This will give other people confidence in your ability to get the job done. This is especially important when you are in a leadership or management position within a company, organization, club or family. The appearance of control is the critical first step towards regaining your balance. When others see that you are not phased by your predicament, they will likewise maintain their poise and will better be able to assist you in this time of need.

Once you have established external emotional balance, you can now move onto the next step which is centering yourself internally. To do this one must learn to better understand oneself as well as the events surrounding one’s situation. The following set of questions may assist you to regain back the balance in your life while focusing you back on your most important goals and objectives:

  • Why am I feeling overwhelmed and stressed at this very moment? – You are defining the problem.
  • What external factors, people or events do I believe are causing this? – You are defining the cause.
  • How specifically is all of this making me feel? – You are defining your emotional state.
  • How do I normally react emotionally to these types of people, events or circumstances? – You are defining your habits.
  • Given my outcomes and goals, what emotions would be most suitable and appropriate to utilize in this situation?
  • How will I gain from experiencing and using these positive emotions?
  • How do I now choose to act proactively in response to these people, events or circumstances?
  • What strategies can I consistently use to ensure that I stay in this emotional proactive state?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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miWisdom today… Learning and mastering a single process, task or skill can take time and a lot of concentrated effort. This is why it is so easy for us to doubt our own abilities when we have very little experience in a specific area. Some “things” naturally take a little more time to master than others, and this is where the problems lie.

Many of us see these “things” that we need to learn as big challenges that seem rather overwhelming and daunting. Yet, little do we realise that the only difference between a person who has mastered a skill or understood a process comes down to 2 common and critical factors:

  • Knowledge and
  • Experience

We acquire knowledge by seeking out information that we want to understand and potentially put into practice. And we acquire experience by applying that information in a practical and measurable way.

In essence, what stops people from moving forward in life simply comes down to either a lack of knowledge or experience, or a lack of both. Isn’t it true, that if we knew what to do and we already had the necessary experience behind us, that there would potentially be nothing stopping us from moving forward in this area of our lives?

Acquiring knowledge and experience is all one needs to increase one’s level of confidence and proficiency in a particular area. Begin step-by-step without overwhelming your comfort zone at first, and slowly but surely stretch yourself as you progress into the future. Focus primarily on acquiring a balance of knowledge and experience each day. Over time this will allow you to create momentum and move forward at a consistent pace.

Too much knowledge and too little experience will create a pleasant intellectual comfort zone, which will prevent you from moving forward. While on the other-hand, too much experience and not enough knowledge will result in many mistakes and frustrations, therefore leading to many setbacks and potential losses in time, energy and money.

If you find yourself stuck and procrastinating within a specific niche area of your life, than find the time to ask yourself the following questions which may help you gain some clarity:

  • What is really stopping me from moving forward in this area of my life?
  • Is it my lack of knowledge, experience, or is it both that are preventing me from moving forward?
  • Where is it that I lack knowledge and understanding?
  • How can I best acquire this knowledge and understanding?
  • Where is it that I lack first hand experience?
  • How can I go about acquiring this first hand experience? Can I apprentice to someone?
  • What small steps can I take today to acquire some further knowledge and understanding in this area?
  • What small steps can I take today to gain a little first hand experience in this area?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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miWisdom today… Being strong and assertive at all times is what really matters if you want circumstances to bend your way. A strong assertive approach will enable you to take control of a situation and will make others unintentionally miss gaps or oversights in your potential lack of knowledge or effective strategy. In the end, this all boils down to one’s levels of confidence and how one projects that confidence out towards others.

When in conversation with another person, you will notice that the person with the most confidence is the one who controls (or at least appears to control) the situation. People naturally and unquestionably trust and have faith in those who project high levels of self-confidence and belief. As such, one must strive at all times to bring forth high levels of confidence in one’s interactions with other people. If this is difficult to do, than Act as If you are confident, as though you are auditioning for a role in a movie. Don’t take yourself too seriously and have some fun experimenting with your new found assertive nature.

  • Is it me or them? Who is currently projecting the most confidence within this interaction?
  • How can I raise my levels of assertiveness and confidence in the moment?
  • How must I perceive myself at all times to ensure I maintain peak levels of confidence?
  • Do I understand that confidence is built through knowledge, experience and understanding? The more I learn, experience and then attempt to understand the outcomes, the more confidence I will grow within myself.

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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miWisdom today… To be self conscious about yourself and your own abilities simultaneously shatters the confidence other people also have in you. You must therefore never doubt yourself if others have full faith in your abilities. May be they see something in you that your are ignorant of or too humble to notice.

  • How can I go about showing others that I believe in myself and my own abilities?
  • How can I rally their ongoing support behind my cause?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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