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Archive for the ‘Children’ Category

Reaper 1miWisdom today… “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” James Dean was no doubt onto something very special indeed when he said this now famous quote.  However, how many of us can truly say that we live with this type of awareness and understanding?

Children Dream as if they were to Live Forever

When we are children we tend to “Dream as if we’ll live forever”. I child has no boundaries and in many ways they haven’t as yet developed a strong concept of reality, life or death. All they know is that they live, and that because of this fact, anything is possible. And so they dream, yes they dream as if they were to live forever; and this is indeed what brings much happiness and joy into their daily existence. They have a deep seated understanding that life is meant to be lived as a dream on a deeply profound level. They understand that life is meant to be filled with passion, with enthusiasm, with creativity and with a spiritual abundance that all dreams can and will come to fruition. Yes kids are quite ignorant of reality, aren’t they?

The Dream Reapers will Cut Dreams Away

The world is a dangerous place, and the moment you begin to dream, you can be certain that someone will be there to set you right back in your place. Yes, the world is full of Dream Reapers who will take your dreams away from you if you give them half a chance. That kids don’t understand this, is not their fault. They are simply unaware of the Dream Reapers that hide around every corner waiting to sabotage their deepest passions. The most frightening thing is that the Dream Reapers are US! Yes, that’s right, WE unknowingly harm the younger generations by helping them to become realists and pessimists. We also show our support by helping them to think practically about their dreams, goals, visions and passions.

I’m afraid to say that many dreams are not and have not been practical, and yet they are being brought forth into our reality by someone each and every day.

Bringing the Impossible Dream into Physical Reality

  • Didn’t a high school teacher inform Einstein that he had a learning disability? If Einstein had taken this to heart, what on earth would he have achieved?
  • Didn’t Sylvester Stallone get rejected by dozens of managers who told him that he couldn’t act? Did he let this stop him from achieving his dreams?
  • Didn’t Kernel Sanders receive over 1,000 No’s before receiving a single Yes for his homemade chicken recipe? His persistence resulted in KFC.
  • Didn’t Thomas Edison receive criticism for his ongoing efforts in the development of the light-bulb? If he had listened to them, would you be enjoying light today?

Examples are abound, yet the most important lesson that can be learned from all the above cases is that we should never doubt another person’s dreams, especially when it comes to children. On top of this we should never doubt or deny our own dreams. Only you, that’s right only you have the right to say whether or not you can bring your dreams into reality. So start thinking like a kid and “Dream as if you’ll live forever”.

As a side note, Kernel Sanders only began his journey towards his dreams as a senior citizen. I suppose he thought he would live forever?

If you smiled a little at the last statement, that’s fine. However, I was reading an article not too long ago in a science journal that brought to light a number of scientific studies that are on the frontier of breaking boundaries in terms of human longevity. It was predicted that within the next 25 to 50 years the average human lifespan would be extended to well over 100 years in 1st world countries. The 50 years that followed, would see human life extended to over 300. After that science predicts that a few more breakthroughs in unlocking the genetic code may extend human life indefinitely.

I hope that this awareness can open your mind that “forever” is a lot closer than you might imagine.

Live as if you’ll die today

It seems that the older we get, the more profoundly we begin to live by this statement. The only difference is, is that for most people they also live with the thought  of regret that keeps buzzing around their head like an annoying fly that just won’t go away. Yes, that Buzz of regret is difficult to swallow, isn’t it? However, it is ironic to think that the only reason we have regrets in the first place is because we DON’T live as if we’ll die today our entire lifetimes. We only seem to work it out when it’s too late to do the things that would make life really worth living.

By “living as if you’ll die today” doesn’t mean crying and feeling sorry for yourself, it rather means going out into the world, doing the things you have been delaying, saying the things you haven’t been saying, and experiencing the life you haven’t been living. I suppose that this is the formula for swatting away that annoying Buzz that tends to build up over a lifetime of regrets.

So don’t wait another moment, and “Dream as if you’ll live forever, while living as if you’ll die today”.

Transformational Questions

To keep you on track with this way of thinking, you might find it helpful to ask yourself the following questions:

  • What dreams did I have as a child that the Dream Reapers took away? How can I reignite these dreams and passions once again?
  • Based on the scientific research, if I was to actually live forever, what dreams would I start to pursue today, this week, next month, next year?
  • What small dream could I pursue today that I could bring to fruition in very quick succession?
  • If I was to die later today, what would I do now that would bring me great joy and pleasure in the moment?
  • If I was to die later today, what would I say to the ones I love about my feelings towards them?
  • How would my life change from this moment on if “I dreamed as if I’d live forever, and lived as if I’d die today”?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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miWisdom today… When people go through periods of great difficulty in their lives, we naturally have a tendency to try and assist them through their problems by providing them with techniques and strategies that we believe will help them overcome their challenges. Is this really the right and just way to go about assisting a person in need?

First of all, what may appear to be the right way around a problem to us may not in fact be the most ideal solution for the other person. Yes, we may well have gone through a similar experience, or we may have heard or read about others overcoming this sort of challenge in their life. Yet, can we rightly justify the act of providing helpful advice without first truly understanding the other person and their experience from absolutely every angle imaginable? Because this is exactly what it will take to provide this person with the right and suitable answers they are after.

When we freely help others, do we even consider the repercussions of our good nature? Is what we are doing for them helping them in the long-term? Is this empowering the other person to overcome other similar challenges in their life without your ongoing support or influence? Or is your act of helping them through this problem actually making them dependent on you now and in the future? There is an old saying which identifies this principle clearly:

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.”

There is also another saying which states:

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you can sell him fishing equipment.” – However, let’s leave that for another time 🙂

When people are in great difficulty they only seek one single “thing” to begin with. This one “thing” is so powerful that it may well be the trigger that will empower them to take the necessary steps and actions to overcome their challenge single-handedly. So what is this one “thing” they seek? It is assurance from someone who can show that they understand their problems and challenges. They are looking to connect with a person who will be there for them as a satellite bouncing ideas back and forth.

Once this person feels comfortable that someone understands them; that they have the support of someone who is supportive of their plight – now you can move onto the next step, which is all about empowering the person from within. To do this, one must learn to lead a conversation by asking the right questions that will allow the other person to think independently and reflect upon their life and circumstances.

Giving advice is much like the act of giving a man a fish. You will feed the person with a solution for today, but what will they have left for tomorrow and the uncertain future that awaits them. However, by asking insightful questions that encourages the other person to think in unique and creative ways, is very much like teaching them to fish.

By guiding the other person to seek their own answers within, is one of the greatest gifts one is able to give to a child, a family member, stranger or friend; because it is one of those gifts that just keeps on giving whether you are in this person’s life or not.

Next time someone is in difficulty, you might find it helpful to ask yourself the following set of questions:

  • How can I provide this person with reassurance that I am there for them in their time of need?
  • How can I show them that I understand them and their situation wholeheartedly?
  • What insightful questions can I ask that will encourage them to think in a unique and creative way about their problems and predicament?
  • What sorts of questions could I ask that may well empower this person to take immediate and positive action today?
  • How else can I show them that I am supportive of their difficulties, problems or challenges without giving advice?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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miWisdom today… Getting angry or upset at others doesn’t normally work to one’s favour, as it creates resistance and throws the other person against you. Not only does the other person now see you as the enemy, they also completely resist what you have to say no matter how much logical sense your argument may have. This ends up being a “no win” situation for both parties. You don’t win because you haven’t been able to get your point across, and the other person doesn’t win because they have not learnt from their mistakes or their lack of understanding. Their Ego has simply impeded on making logical sense of the information that you are attempting to convey across to them.

Instead of getting angry or arguing with the other person, the solution is to simply discuss the matter with them in a very subtle and calm manner. Focus on asking the right kinds of questions that will get this person thinking logically about their situation. These questions must however be very subtle, so much so that the other person doesn’t even realise that you are probing them for these answers. Your goal is to get them thinking in a way that will stimulate questions within them so that they are able to find their own answers.

Focus also on touching the other person emotionally, on making them laugh, or maybe even making them feel a little indirect pain that will trigger their emotional thinking processes. A bit of laughter or tears can easily breakdown a person’s defenses, therefore opening them up to a greater sense of awareness and understanding about their current predicament.

People are much like a rubber-band. The more you pull on it the greater resistance you will have to deal with. And if you pull too quickly and too hard, the rubber-band will snap, and you have lost a unique opportunity to get through to them.  People are also much like a balloon that is blown up and deflated again. Once a balloon is deflated it will never take on its original shape. If you hurt them through your anger and attacking remark, they will lose trust and faith in you no matter what your intentions were or how much logical sense you made. And later when you are sincerely trying to help them, they will resist, and you will not be able to get through to them.

  • What is it that I would like to get across to this person?
  • What strategies can I use to get this information across to them in a way that will minimise resistance?
  • How should I talk, behave and present myself before them?
  • Where would be the most ideal place to discuss this matter with them?
  • What would be the ideal time to discuss this matter with them?
  • How can I get my point across in a logical manner that will get them thinking in new ways?
  • How can I get my point across in a way that will stir up contemplative emotions in the other person?
  • What questions can I ask them that will stimulate their thinking processes?
  • What personal experiences and stories can I share with them that will build a stronger emotional bond between the two of us?
  • How can I best show them that I understand their situation and predicament?
  • How can I lead them towards finding the answers that I would like them to discover for themselves?
  • After my discussion with them, should I give them space and time to contemplate what was discussed? How much time should I allow?
  • If I was them and they were me, how would I like to be approached given the circumstances?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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miWisdom today… One must be very careful as to when, where and how to raise certain topics or issues with other people.The when refers to the timing of your encounter with this other person. Keep in mind that at certain times people will be more receptive to what you have to say than at other times.

The where refers to the place of your encounter with the other person. Keep in mind that the other person will feel different emotions within different environments. You must approach them within an environment that is going to be helpful to your communication.

The how refers to how you will go about communicating your message to the other person. Keep in mind that it’s not so much what you say to the other person but how you say it. However, choose your words carefully especially when discussing sensitive matters.

Another factor to consider is the whom. Whom this person is in the presence of when you are communicating your message to them is of critical importance. At times whom they are in the presence of will assist you in getting your message across, while at other times it may make your communication a little more difficult. Also keep in mind who may be listening to your communication and how this may influence their perceptions of you or the other person.

  • When is the best time to discuss this matter with them?
  • Where is the best location to discuss this matter with them?
  • How should I communicate my message in order to help them best understand my perspective?
  • Do I want to approach them when they are alone or in the presence of other people? What people specifically?
  • What are the potential consequences of my communication strategy?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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miWisdom today… Building strong relationships with others all rests upon the finer details. It is all about knowing a matrix of interesting habits, hobbies, likes, values, beliefs and ideas about the other person which usually determines the strength of your relationship with them. By knowing and understanding these intricacies you will not only be a greater influential force in their lives, but will also build stronger and longer lasting emotional foundations that can potentially last a lifetime.

  • What do I really know about this person?
  • Do I know this person’s beliefs, values, hobbies, interests, small unconscious habits, or their ideas about themselves, others and the world?
  • How could I get to know them at an even deeper level of understanding?
  • How can I use what I know about them to help influence them in the right direction?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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miWisdom today… At every chance that you get, you must instill powerful and empowering beliefs in kids, even if you must set up an elaborate plan to create an environment where these beliefs will flourish and be ingrained in their psyche. It isn’t what happens to these kids that matters, but rather what a child is lead to believe that they are capable of.

  • What powerful and empowering beliefs do I want to instill in this child that will serve them for a lifetime?
  • How can I create an elaborate environment that will ingrain these beliefs into their psyche?
  • Whose assistance will I need to pull this off successfully?
  • In how many other creative ways can I do this in the future to ensure that this belief is securely ingrained in this child’s mind?

If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.

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