miWisdom today… One mustn’t reveal what one has learnt or discovered about another person if one is still uncertain about this person’s motives and intentions. Instead, one must buy more time and act as though one is not aware of this new found information.
First, take your time to really get to know this person in a variety of different situations and environments. When people are not under stress or difficulty they can easily deceive and convince others of their deceptive ways. However, put them into a situation where they are pulled outside of their comfort zone, or thrown into an environment that isn’t familiar to them; and this person’s true colours may well come to the forefront.
- How best can I take this person out of their comfort zone?
- What environment could potentially bring out their true colours?
- How are they different within this new environment or situation?
- How are they different under these awkward and stressful situations?
- Does this difference in behaviour provide me any clues as to their true intentions and character?
Secondly, you can pick up subtle details and critical information about other people by observing how they interact with others within their social circle and outside of it.
- What does this person say, and how do they behave in the presence of others?
- Do they act any differently in the presence of these people than they do with me?
- Does this person talk about others behind their back?
- Do they speak kind words of others, or do their words put people down?
- What intention do they have while speaking these words? What impression do they seek to make on me?
- What do others say about this person?
- How do others speak about them? (tone of voice, sarcasm, etc)
- What general impressions do people have of this person? Both new acquaintances and old friends?
- What does all of this tell me about this person’s motives, intentions and character?
- So the question remains… Should I trust them or should I not?
If you have a similar learning experience or would like to add to the list of questions, you may do so by commenting below.
There is always ‘trust’ but to avoid disappointment and blind trust this is good advice not only inthe workplace but with relationships